The kind of past I've dealt with isn't something you "get over" or forget, or have go away.  The scars are deep and they aren't go anywheres, and the pains of it never come up at an inopprotune time.  I think I'm going to go to the hospital tomorrow.  Days like the last two are completely untenable and I still have enough of my head about me to realize that right now, so thats when I gotta go.