@sim Context is important to try to discern, because somethings very "harsh" seeming things aren't meant maliciously, and somethings very "nice" seeming things can be intentionally manipulative or vindictive.  The psych training probably gives me a leg up in identifying that, though I will admit I've run into problems before where behaviour that because of that training a behaviour seems very obviously OK or negative to me when it isn't as obvious to others.  I've tried to basically tailor how I deal with contentious individuals to demonstrate the behaviours that might be a problem.  For instance, I would say the way several Mastodon people responded to my queries when they were bothering people on my own site highlighted that they were not engaging in good faith.