@sim There's a seperate admin hat account I maintain for when I need to deal officially with people I don't want to deal with normally on a personal level.  Most instance admins do this.

Basically, it comes down to "don't be a dick" when it comes to the behavioural stuff.  I could come up with elaborate rules describing the scenarios as to what that entails, but really, what that ends up doing in practice is just creating rules lawyers and people whom feel they can skirt the rules if they're only problematic in certain ways.

In practice rules enforcement on my instance comes down to - I'm only going to be looking at someone to begin with if a fair few people have complained to me about them to begin with.  I usually give them a chance to lay off.  If they don't, or they throw that back in my face with insults, well, it isn't any loss to the instance if they're banned, at that point.