I ran these three things I got from that now unavailable pastebin:

update ostatus_source set `profile_uri` = replace(profile_uri, 'http://', 'https://') where profile_uri like 'http://status.rudism.com/%';

update ostatus_profile set `salmonuri` = replace(salmonuri, 'http://', 'https://') where salmonuri like 'http://status.rudism.com/%';

update ostatus_profile set `feeduri` = replace(feeduri, 'http://', 'https://') where feeduri like 'http://status.rudism.com/%';

@vinzv @mmn @lnxw48 @rudism